We are great at go-go-go.
In fact, in our Western society, we are praised for being busy. "Oh my gosh, you work 16 hours a day, haven't taken a vacation in 3 years, sleep only 4 hours a night, and workout for 2 hours a day?" You're AMAAAAAZING!!
You ever met anyone with nothing going on in their life outside of their 9-5 and think they are a bum??
And I was wrong.
We have gotten so far away from boundaries and actual self care -- and commended for it -- that we run ourselves into the ground, thinking we are doing good by chasing the imaginary dream that society has created for us.
We are taught to run on fumes, and more equals better, and to keep up with the Kardashians (is this still a thing? ), so we fill our time with as much as possible to appease this societal standard that doesn't serve us, and so we don't have to sit and be.
Be alone with ourselves. Be alone with our thoughts. Actually take time to breathe and look inward or just fucking sit. Do you know how hard it is for people just to sit?
We don't do this because we are considered lazy assholes if we do, and it's also scary to be with ourselves, so we fill our time.
If you notice how we program our workouts, hopefully you'll see that we truly believe that more is not better. More is more.
If you are banging out long ass workouts, working all day, not sleeping, not spending quality time with people, not putting great foods in your body, or taking time to rest, you're gonna crash.
And we don't just do this with our bodies, we do this with everything.
I recently reread the book, Die Empty by Todd Henry.
There was a phrase in there that punched me across the face so hard that I wrote it down and look at it often.
Pointless Efficiency is where we get really good at doing a bunch of stuff that doesn't take us any closer to our goals or serve us in anyway - but if feels like we are doing something. It's like being on a rocking horse. You're moving for the sake of moving, but you're not going anywhere.
If you examine your last week, are you filling your days with anything that is keeping you pointlessly efficient?
If you find yourself filling your days and time for the sake of being busy, I'm going to challenge you to pause.
Please know I'm saying this as a New Yorker who has been fueled by the rat race of running myself into the ground, burning the candle at both ends to try to prove.... i have no fucking clue what, but I made it my mission to cut it out in 2018. And you know what?
The first few months of this year have truly been the best of my adult life.
I feel great. I don't feel as anxious. I'm sleeping. I'm eating better. I'm setting boundaries and taking care of myself.
It's incredible to take actual time for yourself to be a human BEING. To just be.... without doing - to fuel your spirit and mind - to input and not output all the time.
It's also so crucial to do this with our bodies. If you only output, your bucket is going to be empty real fast.
We are great at outputting and have more of a challenge inputting, so that's our mindset habit #3.
Keep your bucket full.
We're going to challenge you to take time for yourself to INPUT things that are good for you... mind and body.
- Quality nutrition
- Sitting and reading a book
- Taking a bath
- Giving yourself 10 minutes (set a timer if you need to) to sit and not think about the shit you have to do or to worry about anything. Give yourself permission.
- Going on a walk
The list can go on and on based on what serves you.
This can be especially hard because we are also taught, as women, from a young age to give and put others first and take care of everyone else.
Not only is it okay, it is crucial to input the things that keep you full. You deserve it. You will feel better for it. You won't be as resentful or tired all the time. You'll be happier. You'll show up differently in life.
I'm gonna leave you with an emo poem that also gut punched me last year.
A Girl Who Didn't Stop
Let me tell the tale
Of a girl who didn't stop;
Who climbed on every mountain
Without a pause when on the top.
She'd dance in every blade of grass
Until each one was covered in dew;
The sun knew her by name
But the silver moon did, too.
For a fear had settled in her bones,
A fear of sitting still;
That if you're not moving forward
It must mean you never will.
So in time, her dance got slower
And she looked at all she'd seen;
But found gaps inside the places
That she'd never fully been.
For she was a human doing,
Human moving, human seeing;
But she had really never taken the time
To be a human being.